Dear Theoretical Kid,
Today I watched the Super Bowl by myself. It was just as depressing as it sounds. I came to the conclusion that most people don’t watch sports simply for the sake of watching sports. They must do it as some sort of social bonding activity thing. Not that the game wasn’t fascinating, but that I realized that it’s kind of lonely to cheer for a team when there’s no one there to cheer with you. It’s kind of like going to see a movie at the theatre by yourself (something I have done many times). As exciting as the movie may be, you get the feeling that there’s something wrong with you for doing something alone that is usually considered a group activity.
Or maybe that’s just me.
In any case, the result of what shall henceforth be known as (in my mind) the 2015 Super Bowl Fiasco is that it will never happen this way again. I will never watch a game by myself again (except as research). I will plan and connive and invite until my fingers bleed from the effort. Dramatic I know, but it’s important to me that I’m not the lonely kid on the block. I’ve been the solitary sort since I was a kid and I’m sick of it. And that is why, when you come along, your mom will be known as the woman who throws the most kick-ass Super Bowl party EVER. No joke. Reasons: A) I want a posse of kick-ass friends to chill with B) no way are you going to grow up being embarrassed by how lame I am. This self-improvement kick is for you, little Theoretical.
P.S. I resolve to move to an awesome place (haven’t decided where) before the next Super Bowl and find all of those kick-ass friends I talked about. There are enough theoretical people here as it is.